Do you all like talking?

I do! I like both talking and listening. But I haven’t always liked it. As a child, I was a shy and passive person. In my twenties, there were times when I only talked about myself (; ･`д･´).

As an adult, there are many more opportunities to talk with different people—colleagues, bosses, clients, and even people you’re meeting for the first time. Talking helps you get closer to others and can also leave a good impression. With that in mind, I’ve come up with five Japanese phrases to help keep a conversation going! It’s also important to enjoy the conversation yourself.

1. ○○派ですか？△△派ですか？

[…ha desuka? …ha desuka?]

(Are you a ○○ person or a △△ person?)

If you and your conversation partner are on the same side, it’s easy to feel a sense of connection. You could also follow up with questions like, “Why do you like that?” to keep the conversation going.

Example; 犬派ですか？猫派ですか？

[inuha desuka? nekoha desuka?]

(Are you a dog person or cat person?)

2. 好きな食べ物はなんですか？嫌いな食べ物はなんですか？

[sukina tabemono wa nandesuka? kiraina tabemono wa nandesuka?]

(What is your favorite food? What foods do you dislike?)

In my experience, this question can keep a conversation going the longest. Although, that might just be because I love food! Since everyone needs to eat to survive, there’s always something to discuss. It’s fun to ask about foods people loved as a child but can’t eat as an adult, or even to get tips on how to enjoy certain dishes.

3. ○○について私は～～と思うのですが、△△さんはどう思いますか？

[…nitsuite watashiwa …to omounodesuga, …san wa dou omoimasuka]

(I think ○○ about ～, but what do you think?)

Bring up any current topic on trend or recent news to spark a conversation. If you already know the person, it’s a good idea to choose a topic they might be interested in.

Example; 言語学習について私は継続が大切と思うのですが、△△さんはどう思いますか？

[gengogakushu nitsuite watashiwa keizokuga taisetsu to omounodesuga …san wa do omoimasuka]

(I think consistency is important when learning a language—what do you think, △△?)

4. 私は～～に行ったことがないのですが、△△さんは行ったことありますか？

[watashiwa …ni itta koto ga nai no desuga, …san wa itta koto arimasuka]

(I’ve never been to ○○—have you?)

Ask about experiences you’ve never had. This naturally leads to more questions and helps keep the conversation flowing. Many people enjoy talking about themselves, so if they share a fun memory or even a bittersweet experience, listen actively and share your own stories to connect with them.

Example; 私はアメリカに行ったことがないのですが、△△さんは行ったことありますか？

[watashiwa amerika ni itta kotoganainodesuga …san wa itta koto ga arimasuka]

(I’ve never been to USA—have you?)

5. あの、、、前にも聞いたかもしれませんが、

[ano…,,aenimo kiita kamoshiremasenga]

(Um… I might have asked this before, but…)

If you’ve met someone several times but can’t remember what you’ve already talked about, start your question with this phrase. Even if you’re repeating yourself, it sounds like a gentle and polite way to ask again.

If you keep these five phrases in mind, awkward silences will be a thing of the past! And remember—asking “why” is a simple way to keep the conversation flowing even longer.