I once read that having a circle of trusted female friends can greatly contribute to better mental health.

Here in the Spanish city where I live, I have a group of four girlfriends who call ourselves the Crafting Queens. As the name suggests, we all love art and crafting. The group started as we started gathering often to knit, paint and so on.

We were already close before, so we do all sorts of things together beyond crafting. After spending hours chatting away with them, I always come home feeling truly happy. I have many other close friends whom I love dearly, but there’s something special about the space I share with the Crafting Queens that feels a little different from the rest.

We talk a lot…and I mean a lot. And we really do talk about literally “everything.” And everyone listens with care, shares in each other’s worries as if they were their own, and starts discussions from all kinds of angles. My friends are all emotionally mature, the kind of people who value therapy, so sometimes they even ask questions like therapists would:
“Why do you think you felt that way?”
“Where is that feeling coming from?”

Of course, there are plenty of things I wouldn’t want to talk about with some other friends, but with them, I feel like I can allow myself to be completely vulnerable. Sometimes I even end up crying! (lol) Also, we don’t just comfort each other, we also call each other out when we’re in the wrong. And that helps us grow.

Having a group of female friends like this is something I feel truly, deeply grateful for. Of course, it’s not easy to maintain when everyone has their own adult life. In fact, one of them now lives in London and can only come back a few times a year. Another is moving to a different city for a year starting next month. And as for me and the remaining friend, we have no idea how much longer we’ll stay in this city either.

Sometimes I wonder: if I leave this city, will I ever find myself in such a lucky situation again? And in these moments, change feels scary. But honestly, it’s normal for friendships to get harder to maintain as we get older. I feel lucky to have been surrounded by such wonderful friends here, and if I struggle to make friends in another city someday, I think that will be more about the nature of the city than any fault of my own.

And that’s why I want to fully appreciate what I have right now, and to care for my friends as much as they care for me.

Crafting Queens, love you!!! 💜